Ten Ways You Might Be A Baptist

Christi and I were driving home from Nashville and we were bored so we came up with a list of ten ways you might be a Baptist. I didn’t grow up Baptist but she did. She resonates with many of these. What about you?

YOU MIGHT BE A BAPTIST IF…

1. You think the wedding feast in the Bible is a potluck.

2. You think the front pew is reserved for the Holy Spirit because you sure aren’t sitting there.

3. You’re mad at the pastor for going past 12:00 because you couldn’t beat the Methodists to your favorite restaurant.

4. You think John the Baptist was your first member.

5.  You think your pew was reserved for you for life.

6.  You are scared to show any emotion while singing, lest someone might think you are charismatic.

7. You are very sure the “wine” in the Bible was unfermented grape juice.

8. Your neck tie stops an inch above your navel.

9. You think God’s presence is strongest in the back three pews.

10. You consider Sunday lunch part of the service.

In all seriousness I am honored to be a Baptist. They hold strong to the word of God and are willing to be unpopular to stand for truth. 

14 thoughts on “Ten Ways You Might Be A Baptist

  1. Great post, Brother
    1. You think the wedding feast in the Bible is a potluck. (We didn’t smoke pot, and didn’t believe in luck)

    2. You think the front pew is reserved for the Holy Spirit because you sure aren’t sitting there.(it was really reserved for Christ. ‘The secret guest at every meeting’. Elijah had to wait till passover…)
    )
    3. You’re mad at the pastor for going past 12:00 because you couldn’t beat the Methodists to your favorite restaurant.(pastor was such a long winded guy, he thought our gifting in the body was to sit there and listen to him as he was allowed to exercise his gift. ‘The mind can only receive what the seat can endure’)

    4. You think John the Baptist was your first member.(sorry, Jonny was a Church of Christ dude. ICC, Boston that is)

    5. You think your pew was reserved for you for life.(I knew a pepe le’pew. Real stinker that guy)

    6. You are scared to show any emotion while singing, lest someone might think you are charismatic.(no… you’d never mistake a Baptist to have any kind of charisma at all)

    7. You are very sure the “wine” in the Bible was unfermented grape juice.(in this little premanufactured cups with the cracker on top sealed with cellophane)

    8. Your neck tie stops an inch above your navel. (Below the navel, if you please… we are into christian modesty, you know)

    9. You think God’s presence is strongest in the back three pews. (He…they…he sits back in the back to be the first one out too? Awesome!)

    10. You consider Sunday lunch part of the service.(Well, there is that idea of the sermon being a meal prepared for the congregation… everyone gets their just desserts)

    In all seriousness I am glad to have BEEN a Baptist, calvary chapelite, church or christer, AOG, and a disciple/Follower of jesus. Now that’s behind me, “get behind me…”, I can focus on the life I have been given and the people I love and who love me. “Hello from the other side…”. PEACE!! -Kia

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