People Don’t Like Being Told They Are Going To Hell

Then they will go away to eternal punishment, but the righteous to eternal life.

Matthew 25:46

We need to think about how we say things to others who disagree with us about God. We need to boldly speak truth but not be surprised when they might want to spit in our face or drop kick us. Truth is uncomfortable to those not ready to receive it.

In speaking often to those who don’t believe in Jesus as the Savior of mankind, My experience is they don’t take kindly to being called lost, ignorant, deceived, or hell-bound. They find it condescending, judgmental, and hateful. If I were a nonbeliever, I would not like it either. As a Christian, we have to understand this. We need to “feel” what they are saying and understand that it’s a strong statement we make when we say they are lost or going to Hell. That kind of pronouncement carries with it a lot of emotion and judgment. It doesn’t mean we don’t speak it but we should try and understand how they are hearing it.

We shouldn’t be flippant with our words if we want to show care for them. If we are offering the grace of Jesus, we can’t do it from the approach that they we are better than them or that they disgust us because if their lifestyle . They are no less human and no more unworthy than you or me. We dehumanize people often with our words, oftentimes in the name of God no less . I have been guilty of this myself but I don’t want to treat people as if I reject them. I am burdened for them and want them to know Christ and the salvation he offers. I want to be nice and not harsh.

That in no way means I don’t believe all people of every race and status are in need of the gospel. Everyone needs to hear about Christ and their desperate need for Him for salvation. My error is not in sharing but in being insensitive. I haven’t been as sensitive to them in the words I have used to convey what I believe to be true. We are fools if we think they are not going to struggle with our belief that they are sinners and will go to Hell for eternity in judgment. I mean who wants to hear that! Yet, if we believe that those without Christ are bound for eternity in Hell, then it is the greatest act of love we can give to do everything we can to help them see the way of salvation. Think about it like this: if another person saw me doing something that was harmful to myself and thy intervened, I might not appreciate it in the moment, but surely it is an act of mercy and care! I often try to help people who don’t want to admit or recognize their issue(s), but to do nothing feels cruel. No one, I mean no one, is going to shake your hand and thank you for telling them they are eternally condemned (Welk i did have a guy in prison tell me he was glad to be going to Hell but that’s a rare exception!). Let’s put ourselves in their shoes. We have to think very carefully how we speak to those who are without a relationship with Christ. I suggest the following:

1) Before you engage them remind yourself that you are no better than them and the same salvation you say they need, you needed yourself. Give grace because you surely needed grace yourself.

2) This goes with the first one but be humble. This is not about your pride, ego, or another notch on your belt, or about winning an argument. You do this because hopefully you care about them and you should prove it in your words and attitude .

3) You should dialogue and debate with them but don’t let emotions or anger influence your words. I have been so guilty of this in my debates. There have been times where my ego got in the way or I let anger cloud my judgment. It undermines everything I am saying when that happens.

4) Be prepared for them to attack you. They are not going to like that you lean on faith and not reason, as they see it. They are going to ridicule it and disrespect you. You need to be honest that you don’t have the proof they want to see and also that you don’t know all the answers. If they don’t believe then give them that right. Respect their decision. Your job is to share and not to convert. You cannot convert people because you do not have the ability to change their heart.

Let’s think through how we engage people with the gospel. Let’s treat them respectfully and lovingly. Let’s be patient with them just as others were patient with us. Hurting people even in the name of truth is dead wrong. We should present the truth, but do it with sensitivity and care.

“but in your hearts honor Christ the Lord as holy, always being prepared to make a defense to anyone who asks you for a reason for the hope that is in you; yet do it with gentleness and respect.” 1 Peter 3:15

Why Unbelievers Hate Christians


To be a genuine Christian in this day and age is no easy task. The culture berates you at every turn for taking a stand: “How can you not be ok with same sex marriages?”; “How can you believe all that fairy tale crazy talk about an ark, David and Goliath, and resurrection?”; “How can you not see every religion as good as your own?”; “How can you be so judgmental?”

The negative rhetoric is increasing in intensity against Chrisitans as our culture turns further away from recognizing God as Sovereign and Majestic. The word of the day is “tolerance.”  They speak tolerance but behind the words we see a more sinister evil at work. Here is the common attitude of the nonbeliever and what they are really saying to Christians:

Christian, my belief or non-belief should be ok with you because I say it is. That’s all that should matter. You have to accept my beliefs as being as legitimate as your own. If not the consequences will be severe for you as I cannot tolerate your unacceptance. If you discredit my beliefs or my actions, no matter how immoral you think they are, I will  take issue with you, Christian, because I desperately need you to accept it so that I can be justified in my deception. I think tolerance is my move towards progressiveness and enlightenment but truth is I am blinded by Satan and I will fight with all I have to pressure you into feeling guilty and ultimately trying to get you to compromise your convictions. It is because I hate God and therefore, I hate you. Oh I will say I don’t but my words and actions show that I most definitely do. I will accuse you of bigotry, discirimination, and hate but it is because I cannot stand the guilt your convictions put on me. I cannot tolerate that you think you have the only right way.

 It makes me sick that you do not allow me to live like I want and be as blasphemous as I desire and it not be ok. I don’t want to be held accountable. Therefore, I will attack you in the name of tolerance until I can get you to not take a stand against me. 

I am ok if you judge some things, especially those things I do not practice. I don’t murder, so you can judge that. Stay away from any belief or immorality that I practice though. It makes me feel bad when you say it is wrong and I don’t want to feel bad so I will rally against you. I need it to be ok that I do whatever feels good to me. I don’t want to live in accordance with a higher standard or purpose. 

What I really want from you is to cower before my god, Satan. I want you to be passive and scared. I want you to be worried about being seen as judging and hateful because you stood up to me. I will do everything I can to shame you and make you feel discriminatory. I do it all because I need to be justified. I need to be ok. I don’t want to live for your God so I need you to say it is ok that I live my way. If you will do this Christian then you and I will be ok.

Christians, we cannot compromise the truth or cower in the face of pressure. We are not bigots and hateful for standing up for truth as long as we do it with love and respect. Don’t lose your voice for the truth!

Christian Response to Orlando Massacre


For God so love the world that He gave His only begotten Son that whosoever believes in Him will not perish but have everlasting life. John 3:16

Infected saints, we live in a world polluted by hatred and evil. Again, we are confronted with senseless tragedy by radical individuals for no other purpose than to instill fear and reveal the depth of their hate. Many have died. Families are devastated. Orlando is in pain. All of us are affected and hurt for them. It doesn’t matter the lifestyle or beliefs of the victims here. They didn’t deserve this. No one does. We are not called to be judge nor executioner. Yet, so often, flawed individuals do heinous acts in the name of their god. Tragic…. Senseless…. A divine opportunity for the church.

I am a Christian. I hold to the morals as set out for me in God’s Word. I do not create them or have the right to pick and choose the ones I like. He sets the standard I follow. My calling, my passion, my life ― none of these are dedicated to getting others to follow those same morals. I am not dedicating my life’s work to getting people to act better. What would be the point? So they can live “cleaner” lives and still be dead on the inside? That is not my hope. That is not the goal of the church ― to reform the world to act better. We are to preach a different message than dead legalism.

I am an evangelist to both the world and the church. To the world, I preach love and grace. They need to know I care. That my agenda is pure. That I have their best intentions at heart. To the church, I preach the same message but not as ones who are to receive, but rather to give, love and grace. To the church, I say: “Quit ignoring. Quit staying in a bubble, loving those like you and not engaging the hurting all around you. It is not enough to just not hate. Not hating does not mean you care. That is not the Gospel!”

Love is active and messy. We need to reach out. We all should be looking for opportunity to show love and care to the LGBT community around us. This means engaging in dialogue and showing love by listening and praying and serving them. It doesn’t mean we have to agree with their lifestyle. It also doesn’t mean calling it out through hateful rhetoric either.

Too often, the church’s response is to retreat and not engage. Christ doesn’t want us to stand aside and watch. It is not enough to say we don’t hate. If we don’t engage, doesn’t that send the message that we don’t care? It’s tough work. It’s messy. Some will judge us for caring and call us compromisers. That’s okay. They did the same to Jesus.

This recent tragedy is horrible; yet, it is an opportunity for the church to show care. To give love. To be the Gospel lived out. It starts with words but does not end there. It’s time to step out and love, in action, those who are not like us or who do not believe like us. Jesus would be right in the middle of this, loving them and offering eternal hope. We should do the same!

Sometimes They Will Hate Us


“For although they knew God, they did not honor him as God or give thanks to him, but they became futile in their thinking, and their foolish hearts were darkened. Claiming to be wise, they became fools, and exchanged the glory of the immortal God for images resembling mortal man and birds and animals and creeping things.”  Romans 1:21-23

Over the past few months, I have engaged in dialogue with those who deem themselves atheists. Consider there are two types of atheists you will encounter if you share your faith. There are atheists who don’t give any credence to faith but are not necessarily looking to proselytize Christians to their side. They do not believe in Jesus but can recognize benefits Christianity has in the world. There are also atheists who see it as their mission to attack Christianity.

This is the group I have encountered lately. They cannot stand the idea that Christians would “judge” them as someone needing to hear the Gospel. Filled with much pride, they despise being seen as a target of our evangelism. They get very defensive and spit out vile attacks. Why? Because they have to constantly defend their view. There can be no possibility they might be wrong. The very idea the Gospel is true is condemning, so they attack it vigorously. I have been called every name imaginable in trying to dialogue with them. They get personal quickly.  They hate easily.

But it’s not me they hate. It’s Jesus. Like Romans 1 predicted, they claim to be wise but are fools in their thinking. They are deceived.

Here are some things to consider if you find yourself speaking to those who attack your faith:

1) Don’t Get Defensive– As Christians, attacking back is not the answer. We have to give a solid defense of what we believe and not back down from the truth, but our conversation must be seasoned with grace and respect. I have failed in this often. It is hard to stay kind when being attacked.

2) God Will Have the Final Word- They will blaspheme God and insult Him with poisonous vile. God doesn’t need us to be His defender, though. When they attack God, don’t feel pressured to change their minds. I know all too well I cannot. I am confident God will have the final word. He will call all men to account. “‘Vengeance is mine,’ says the Lord” (Romans 12:19).

3) Your Calling is to Love– It’s easy to love someone who responds well to us. Not so easy when they attack us. Yet, God tells us to love those who persecute us. Our kindness reaps hot coals on their heads with hope it will lead to repentance. Love is the only  way. First Corinthians tells us love is patient and kind. They need to see that from us. When they do, we are a living display of the Gospel to them. One of the most loving acts you can do is pray for them by name. Lift them up to the Lord, and ask Him to move in their hearts. He alone can transform them.

When we share the faith, there are going to be those who attack us. We should not be surprised. Jesus was attacked and killed for speaking the truth. So were the apostles. We should expect no different when we are faithful to share. Let’s not hate those who speak against us but love them. Nor let fear or anything else shut our mouths from proclaiming the Gospel.  ~Dax

How To Deal With Difficult People

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For by the grace given to me I say to everyone among you not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think, but to think with sober judgment, each according to the measure of faith that God has assigned. Romans 12:3



Some people are, how should I say this, well they are… difficult to be around for us. We may work with them, go to church with them, see them at the ballpark, or might even be related to them. They have a special gift of annoying us. They make our blood pressure go up. We want to run from the room to get away from them. We might even want to punch them if we are honest!

Before we talk about “those” difficult people, we need to first look in the mirror at ourselves. Is it possible we can be difficult? If so it should immediately hit us here that the same grace we want from others we should extend to those we find difficult. We want people to be gracious to us even when it’s our fault. You better believe God demands we give that same grace to others.

What defines someone as difficult? A difficult person is someone who knows how to push our buttons, whether they know they are doing it or not. Their Facebook post annoys us. Every laugh is like nails on a chalkboard. They can be condescending, selfish, argumentative, or simply rude. We try to ignore them but instead it is like they are highlighted. They always find a way to get our attention. We know we are wrong to let it get under our skin but it still happens!

Jesus dealt with quite a few difficult people! When Jesus dealt with those people who were difficult, he never reacted with a sense that he was superior to them nor did he dismiss them out of pride. Superiority and dismissal can be subtle but don’t miss the harshness of the two. Both stem from pride. Most who have this attitude fail to see the very obvious sins in their life. They are annoyed by “difficult” people but many might see them as difficult! Ironic, huh? It just points to them not being self aware. And because they can be pretty harsh to those who they see as difficult, their friends are scared to be honest with them about their own annoying quirks. They don’t stand up because they don’t want to be tagged as one of those difficult people who get belittled.

Some of us are hypersensitive. We are easily annoyed. If that is you be careful. Be careful that you don’t surround yourself with like minded people who do the same thing. Or people who are scared to stand up to you and  agree with you so you will like them. They will justify you and join in as you speak condescendingly about those “difficult” people. Also be careful that you don’t start sentences with “I know I shouldn’t say this” or “I know I am wrong in what I am about to say.” Admitting it is wrong and then doing it does not make it better somehow. If you are hypersensitive then you are letting difficult people control you. Yep, they own you. They govern where you can sit, what groups you will be in, what ministries you will serve in.

In the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus was quite specific about dealing with difficult people in love and humility: “But I tell you who hear me: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you. If someone strikes you on one cheek, turn to him the other also. If someone takes your cloak, do not stop him from taking your tunic. Give to everyone who asks you, and if anyone takes what belongs to you, do not demand it back. Do to others as you would have them do to you” (Luke 6:27–31). We must never give tit for tat: “Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult. On the contrary, repay evil with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing” (1 Peter 3:9).

Watch out for pride. Don’t think so highly of yourself. What if instead you loved them like you loved yourself. What if you focuse din on those things that are healthy and beneficial about them? How would that change things?

This blog is most likely not a message you want to be confronted with but maybe it is exactly what Jesus wants you to hear today. Have the courage to check your spirit and repent of wrong attitude and hatefulness.

You Said What On Facebook?


Social media is a great tool for connecting with friends from anywhere, for allowing people into our lives who want to see it, for information, and sometimes even for inspiration. There is a lot to like about social media. I use it constantly for making spiritual challenges and to communicate to church members. I like to highlight good things my kids are doing and to brag on my wife. But social media can also be the devil. I do not exaggerate. I have seen it destroy friendships, marriages, and young adult’s reputations. I have seen it be used to hurt others and as a tool for bigotry and hate.

Here are three specific ways I see social media being used in a harmful way:

  1. 1) A place to publicly shame others.

We see something posted we don’t like or something in the media that angers us and we attack with shame grenades. It feels so right in the moment. We are dispensing justice to the atrocities of what we feel. How dare they? It is only right that I call them out publicly. We feel so self righteous. And then all the people pleasers out there feel the tension of our post and so they like it and make a comment supporting us, most of the times out of a desperate desire to be liked by us than because they agree with our tirade.

You see it all the time. Someone starts their post with “You may not want to read what I am about to say. I am about to rant.’ Two things you should know when you see this. This person desperately wants you to read what they are saying or else they would not feel that way and then put it on public display. Secondly, you will see several comment who don’t necessarily further the discussion or disagree with it but quickly try to associate with the ranter out of a need to be liked. I am not trying to be harsh here but to make us aware of what is happening. It is toxic, my friends.

We also love to bash those who are unreachable to us. Celebrities and politicians are typically our target here. We shame them with hateful posts and feel justified in it because we don’t know them personally and we feel confident they want read it anyway. We just rally the other haters to shame with us. What does it accomplish? Better question is how does God receive glory from it?

Another way we shame is by setting up a straw man, an anonymous person, that we attack. We say something like “For all those posting about such and such, you are this and that.” Then everyone on our feed is left to wonder are they talking about me and if not me, then who?? Again what benefit comes from this. If I see someone saying something that I think is wrong I should approach them personally. That is what the Bible says to do in Matthew 18. This passive aggressive way of calling out the Straw Man is cowardly.

Am I ever guilty of shaming others on social media? I have committed this sin before. I am guilty as anyone. We need to call it was it is, sin. There is nothing Christian about it. The reason it feels so good is because it appeals to our sinful nature. This post will be very hard to swallow because most of us are guilty to one degree or another. The right response is not to justify our actions but to repent. To confess our wrong to God and to stop doing it.

2) A place for married people to connect or reconnect with a  person of the opposite sex in a dangerous way.

I do a lot of counseling and I used to be amazed how much social media played a role in affairs. It has become an epidemic. What starts out as connecting with a new friend or reconnecting with a friend from the past turns into flirting through private messages, which can turn into a whole lot more. Social media makes us much bolder, more confident, to the point we might find ourselves doing things we would not normally do. Before we know it we have crossed a line.

Be careful of open ended questions you ask someone of the opposite sex. i call these “feeler” statements. You are trying to gauge interest or someone is trying to gauge interest from you. It can be very subtle but it has potential to lead to infidelity. Also avoid pitfalls like buying into the notion that a little flirting is ok. It is never ok to hurt your spouse by flirting with someone else. Also never, ever, ever confide in someone of the opposite sex about problems in your marriage through social media. If you re struggling in your marriage meet with someone of the same sex who can offer goodly counsel. If you engage in spouse bashing with someone of the opposite sex, it is a sure fire way to lead to an unhealthy emotional connection with that person.

Jesus tells us to flee sexual sin. He is so serious about sin, like this, that he tells us if your eye cause you to sin, gouge it out! Don’t put your guard down on social media with people of the opposite sex. Don’t assume their intentions are innocent. Hold your spouse accountable on social media. Don’t be paranoid but be aware of who they are talking with. If your spouse gets defensive of your desire to hold them accountable, then that can be a warning sign.

 

3) A place to hate

Some of us need blood pressure medicine because we get so frustrated, so angry, at what some post. It drives us bonkers. Another picture of their child, another solicitation to buy their product, another comment about a topic they know little about. What I have learned is we get the most frustrated about things that we are prone to do ourselves. I was talking to someone recently who made a comment about someone on social media posting selfies all the time. I mentioned to them that I noticed that they posted pictures of themselves constantly too but with someone in the picture with them. They didn’t like that observation from me! Reality is someone could make the same assumption about them as they were about this other person. We need to be careful about judging the intentions of others. We sure don’t like it when it is done to us.

Here is a simple rule. If someone bothers you by their posts unfollow them. Don’t mention it to others to get a jab in on them. If you say something to someone else then you are wrong because you are gossiping and backbiting. It does not matter if they are wrong or not. No one deserves to be shamed by you! Just simply don’t follow them.

Now here is a way to grow. Ask yourself if what frustrates you about them is something you struggle with as well. Be careful of blindspots in your life. Be careful you are not judging something in others that you are guilty of.

Social media can be a beautiful place. It can be a place of torment and destruction as well. If you are Christian then you don’t get a Christian timeout on social media. God expects you to represent Him well on social media. Keep your guard up. If you can’t fight the temptation to be shameful, angry, gossipy, or lustful on social media then close your account for the sake of your own soul.