People Don’t Like Being Told They Are Going To Hell

We need to think about how we say things to others who disagree with us about God.

In speaking to those who don’t believe in Jesus, as the Savior of mankind, let me assure you they don’t take kindly to being called lost, ignorant, deceived, or hell-bound. They find it condescending, judgmental, and hateful. If I were a nonbeliever I would not like it either. As a Christian, we have to understand this. We need to “feel” what they are saying and understand that it’s a strong statement we make when we say they are lost or going to Hell. That kind of pronouncement carries with it a lot of emotion and judgment.

We can not be flippant with those words if we want to show that we care. If we are offering the grace of Jesus, we can’t do it from the approach that they are wretched in need of a massive makeover to appease God and really, to appease us. They are no less human and no more unworthy than any of us. We dehumanize people so often with our words all in the name of God. I have been guilty of this myself but I don’t want to continue to treat people as less than human.

That in no way means I don’t believe all people of every race and status are in need of the gospel. Everyone deserves to hear about Christ and needs Him for salvation. My error is insensitivity. I haven’t been as sensitive to them in the words I have used to convey what I believe to be true. We are fools if we think they are not going to struggle with our belief that they are sinners and will go to Hell for eternity in judgment. I mean who wants to hear that! Yet, if we believe that those without Christ are bound for eternity from God then it is the greatest act of love we can give to do everything we can to help them see the way of salvation. Think about it like this: if another person saw me doing something that was harmful to myself and thy intervened, I may not appreciate it in the moment but surely it is an act of mercy and care! I often try to help people who don’t want to admit or recognize their issue(s) but to do nothing feels cruel. No one, I mean no one, is going to shake your hand and thank you for telling them they are going to Hell. Let’s put ourselves in their shoes. We have to think very carefully how we speak to those who are without a relationship with Christ. I suggest the following:1) Before you engage them remind yourself that you are no better than them and the same salvation you say they need, you needed yourself. Give grace because you surely needed grace yourself.

2) This goes with the first one but be humble. This is not about your pride or ego or another notch on your belt or winning an argument. You do this because you care about them so prove it in your words.

3) You should dialogue and debate with them but don’t let emotions or anger influence your words. I have been so guilty of this in my debates. There have been times where my ego got in the way or I let anger cloud my judgment. It undermines everything I am saying when that happens.

4) Be prepared for them to attack you. They are not going to like that you lean on faith and not reason. They are going to ridicule it and disrespect you. You need to be honest that you don’t have the proof they want to see and also that you don’t know all the answers. If they don’t believe then give them that right. Respect their decision. Your job is to share and not to convert. You cannot convert people because you do not have the ability to change their heart.

Let’s think through how we engage people with the gospel. Let’s treat them respectfully and lovingly. Let’s be patient with them just as others were patient with us. Hurting people in the name of truth is wrong. We should present the truth with sensitivity and care.

Five Statements Every Child Should Hear From Their Parents

Words are powerful. Words spoken by parents to their children will help shape them. If we understand the power of our words then we can be more intentional in using them to foster health in our children. I suggest using these five statements on a regular basis with your child(ren):

1) “I am proud of you“- perhaps are kids need to hear this more on their failures than successes. They need to know that our love for them is not conditional based off performance. They need to be able to rest in the consistent grace of their parents.

2) “I am sorry“- our children are people who feel just like we do. We are probably quick to correct them and challenge them to be better but they need to see we are not perfect either. There are times we make mistakes and disappoint them. They need to see us own it and apologize to them. Not only does it set the example for our kids in being willing to apologize when we hurt them but it also shows them respect that we think enough about their feelings to apologize. Sometimes our kids need to hear they were right and we were wrong.

3) “Not everyone will like you“- our kids are special but not everyone will appreciate that. Some just won’t be interested in them and they need to be ok with that. The world should not revolve around our kids and we can’t reinforce their expectation that it does. Help your child not be self-absorbed.

4) “Keep trusting God and He will lead you.”- they need to know that following God is essential for their success in life. Of course words are only as powerful as our actions here. They need to see us trusting in the Lord in our decisions, modeling this for them. We don’t want to teach our children that relying on their own abilities and effort is the key to success. Helping them to become self- sufficient can lead to pride and neglect of God in their life.

5) “It’s okay- mistakes happen“- wiser parents than me have said they wish they would have been easier on their kids, especially in their mistakes. Our kids need to know that it’s ok to fail and that their value is not diminished. We don’t want to teach them to be perfectionists. It will wreck havoc on them and rob them of the joy of life. Let your kids fail and then help them see that it’s ok when they do.

10 Sure Fire Ways To Fail At Life

1) Blame everything bad in your life on someone or something else.

2) Be ungrateful and ignore the good things you have been given in life.

3) Make excuses for why you won’t do the things you know you need to do.

4) Fear to try new things in life.

5) Give up to soon without giving your everything to succeed.

6) Do not believe that God loves you and created you for a greater purpose.

7) Let negative people and circumstances distract you from the goal.

8) Speak in ways that are negative and defeating.

8) Trust others words about you more than you do what God says about you.

9) Love selfishly not finding ways to serve and sacrifice for others.

10) Ignore wise advice from those who care about you and have your best interest in mind.

Celebrating Reformation Day


500 years ago, a young, passionate, and somewhat eccentric theologian took a hammer and nailed his 95 Declarations onto the church at Wittenberg’s Castle Church, sending a shock-wave to the Catholic Church. This began a movement that would lead to reformation of the church and a renewal of faith in the Gospel. It was a timely move, one where God’s word and message became the guiding principle again for His Church.

This is a crucial day in the history of many churches who uphold the Scriptures as supreme and its message as the guiding authority. It was a movement to dethrone human wisdom and power and to re-establish the truth of the Gospel. Standing bravely against corrupt practices, such as indulgences, it called for biblical grounding of the church and clergy practices. It truly was a revival, and God used it as seed to be planted all across our country two hundred years later.

Several important things launched from the Reformation, but perhaps nothing captures it more than the five Solas:

  1. Sola Scriptura (“Scripture alone”): The Bible alone is our highest authority.
  2. Sola Fide (“faith alone”): We are saved through faith alone in Jesus Christ.
  3. Sola Gratia (“grace alone”): We are saved by the grace of God alone.
  4. Solus Christus (“Christ alone”): Jesus Christ alone is our Lord, Savior, and King.
  5. Soli Deo Gloria (“to the glory of God alone”): We live for the glory of God alone.

Today, we need to proclaim our commitment to these five biblical truths and continue to fight corruption and power-hungry motives. It is “Christ alone” that is, and always will be, our victory chant.

Ten Signs Your Wife Is Amazing


I am married to a woman who has these qualities and I praise God for her. She would say she is not perfect and she might be right but she is perfect to me! Here are ten qualities that make an amazing wife in my opinion:

1) She loves the Lord with all her heart, mind, soul, and strength.

2) She loves you unconditionally even though she knows all your faults. 

3) She knows when to let things go and doesn’t hold grudges.

4) She is selfless, often neglecting her own needs to meet the needs of her family.

5) She loves your family and friends and works hard to get along with them.

6) She is patient with you and with the kids.

7) She was willing to get peed, pooped, and thrown up on without ever flinching.

8) She takes time to encourage and inspire you to be your best.

9) She promotes moral excellence in herself, you, and your children.

10) She is self-aware, realizing her weaknesses and admitting to them in order to grow.

4 Reasons Boycotting the National Anthem Hurts Rather Than Heals


It is a privilege to live in the USA, an honor most of us take for granted on a daily basis. While many still face prejudice, even that is quite tame to the immense freedom and prosperity all enjoy in our amazing country.

So our NFL players got the idea that kneeling during the National Anthem and saluting of flag would evoke change. Since they are boycotting the flag, are they also willing to boycott the freedoms that come with it? I think not.

From my perspective, the problem with NFLers demonstrating during the National Anthem is multi-fold:

1) The National Anthem, along with saluting the flag, is not the issue nor does it represent the issue.

The National Anthem resounds with powerful words of freedom and patriotism. Blood, sweat, and tears were shed for the words of that song to be more than just words. When people kneel when it is sung, it is disrespecting the sacrifice of our ancestors and legacy of their bravery. If you want to make a statement about racism and injustice, pick another way. It feels like you are throwing the baby out with the bath water here.

2) Americans are guilty of giving their sports heroes credibility in subjects they don’t deserve.

Yes, they are incredible athletes who have risen to the top of their sport. They are not politicians, historians, attorneys, orators or anything else they often try to represent. We must recognize this fact. Sure they have a right to express their opinion, but we should not give so much credence to them just because they can throw and catch a ball well. We empower their voice to be more than it really is, more than we ought to.

3) We have to be more direct in dealing with the problems.

Kneeling during the anthem doesn’t make change. It only causes controversy and divisiveness. Change comes when influencers of all races come together to find forgiveness and set the tone for peace and unity. Standing as one – a team representing a diverse group of people united for a common purpose – is far more effective in the fight against division. On the field and in every facet of life.

4) Boycotting the National Anthem is hypocritical.

You can’t boycott the symbol of freedom, yet partake in all its blessings, and be taken as an authentic voice of change. I don’t think racism is acceptable on any level.  However, protesting this way is not only ineffective but makes the situation even worse. The hypocrisy of the athletes has only brought more unhealthy intensity to the issues, and we are more divided than ever.

In this great country, we do have a right to protest. But we have a greater responsibility to love, to respect, to uphold each other. To stand as one nation under God, indivisible, for liberty and justice for all. With this pursuit, may the only knee we take be to the One who can bring us all together.

Why Our Kids Are Turning Into Zombies


Why are our children becoming zombies?  Because we let them be!

Heads bent, eyes hidden from view, fingers moving rapidly — even an earthquake couldn’t distract them. Medically, this is known as Social Media Zombie-ism (okay, so I made that up) and has reached epidemic proportion due to an obsession with electronic devices. It certainly affects my kids. Children also suffer from FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out) as they engage in the social world frenzy that is at their fingertips. Besides, it’s not like we are setting the best example; we are often device-zombies ourselves. It seems innocent until you add up the hours of missed conversations and physical activity; only then do you realize the slippery slope.

Gut check here:  putting devices in their hands benefits us as parents. It works to keep them occupied because when they are bored, trouble is not far behind. We allow the excess usage often for our own benefit.

Here are some suggested boundaries you should consider; and yes, boundaries are needed and healthy for kids and adults!

1) Let device time be more of a reward than expectation.

Our kids expect to be able to be on their devices rather than seeing it as a privilege. Retrain them!

2) Set the example by your own balance in using social media.

When our children see us on our devices 24/7, do we really expect them to do otherwise? They are following our example!

3) Don’t just limit time on devices, but set time for face-to-face interaction and connection.

We are becoming less and less personal thanks to social media. We don’t spend time in face-to-face conversation as we did 20 years ago. We need to set time aside to have meaningful and personal conversations away from social media.

4) Set privacy settings so only friends can interact with your child.

I probably don’t have to tell you that social media can be a dangerous place for kids. There are a lot of people with evil intentions looking for kids to victimize. Don’t wait until it is too late to set something up.

5) Check your kids’ social media accounts for secret accounts.

I have learned that many kids have secret Instagram accounts for example. By its very nature, there is nothing good about a kid having a secret account that parents are not allowed to see. Don’t be naive and think your kid would never do this. It is the naive parents whose kids do want they want behind parents back.  Ask your children what types of social media they are using and be sure to check thoroughly.  There are many options out there and our children are using them, often unbeknownst to us!