Top Ten Church Bloopers


These are funny. Talk about misprints or bad wording! There are hundreds but these 10 are my personal favorites! Please add your favorite in the comments.

 My comments are in parenthesis.

1) Low Self-Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 to 8:30p.m. Please use the back door (talk about kicking them when their down)

2) Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community. (Jesus does say pray for your enemies)

3) The choir invites any member of the congregation who enjoys sinning to join the choir (choirs are always where the church rebels can be found)

4) Weight Watchers will meet at 7 p.m. Please use large double door at the side entrance (uh… no comment)

5) Ushers will eat latecomers (Baptist churches would shrink a lot!!)

6) A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow (gas masks provided??)

7) Next Sunday is the family hayride and bonfire at the Fowlers. Bring your own hot dogs and guns. Friends are welcome! Everyone come for a fun time (not sure fun is right word!)

8) The sermon this morning: Jesus Walks on the Water. The sermon tonight: Searching for Jesus (oh me. What were they thinking)

9) A new loudspeaker system has been installed in the church. It was given by one of our members in honor of his wife (this man is a genius!)

10) This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs. Lewis to come forward and lay an egg on the altar (talented lady)

Dax

Daughters need their daddy’s affection


And so train the young women to love their husbands and children.    Titus 2:4

My daughter turned 15 this weekend and I have been having thoughts like… I am old… She is only here for three more years… How did this happen… How do I invent a time machine?

Stronger than any thought has been the reality that I only get one opportunity to raise my daughter. She needs me to model for her how a man should treat a woman. She needs to be encouraged and affirmed by me so that she does not need to find it in men. She needs to know I am a rock for her so she can face things confidently. My daughter needs me pouring into her. 

It’s not enough to just be present or to buy her things or to lecture her with words of instruction. She needs to receive my affection. That means hugging and kissing her even when she acts like my touch is coming from someone with leprosy. That means telling her she is beautiful even when she says you are just saying that because our dad. 

Even though this age is the most awkward for giving her affection she needs it more than  ever from me. This is a crucial age. She is becoming a woman and change happens rapidly in every area. It’s scares me to death but I don’t let her see that! Only God can truly understand women.

It’s easy to feel a little edgy around our daughters at this age. Scared to do anything that would be awkward but our daughters still need their daddy’s touch. I have the power to create a place of security and peace for her with my affections. In the same way I can disrupt her serenity by being overly cautious and distant. There is something powerful about a hug and a gentle kiss that words just can’t convey.

One way a dad shows his daughter affection is by listening to her. Not jumping in quickly to fix it or judge her actions but patiently listening. Every dad longs to influence his daughter on dealing with boys, peer pressure, priorities, dress, work ethic, and choosing of friends. For us to truly be heard we have to earn it though. Sure you can force your voice to be heard but does it really influence? When we listen sensitively and patiently we earn our daughter’s trust and then our voice becomes powerful to them.

One of my greatest opportunities is to model for my daughter how a man should treat a woman. How I treat her mother will model for her the expectation, or lack thereof, she will have for her own potential husband. That means I need to be consistent, sensitive, trustworthy, caring, and engaged with my wife. As I lead well and love well my daughter’s expectations of what a man should be is raised. She is less likely to settle for a man who doesn’t show the same positive traits.

Raising a daughter is not easy but it is one of the most rewarding opportunities I have ever experienced. It is a great honor and comes with great responsibility. It is one task I cannot fail.

Ten Ways You Might Be A Baptist

Christi and I were driving home from Nashville and we were bored so we came up with a list of ten ways you might be a Baptist. I didn’t grow up Baptist but she did. She resonates with many of these. What about you?

YOU MIGHT BE A BAPTIST IF…

1. You think the wedding feast in the Bible is a potluck.

2. You think the front pew is reserved for the Holy Spirit because you sure aren’t sitting there.

3. You’re mad at the pastor for going past 12:00 because you couldn’t beat the Methodists to your favorite restaurant.

4. You think John the Baptist was your first member.

5.  You think your pew was reserved for you for life.

6.  You are scared to show any emotion while singing, lest someone might think you are charismatic.

7. You are very sure the “wine” in the Bible was unfermented grape juice.

8. Your neck tie stops an inch above your navel.

9. You think God’s presence is strongest in the back three pews.

10. You consider Sunday lunch part of the service.

In all seriousness I am honored to be a Baptist. They hold strong to the word of God and are willing to be unpopular to stand for truth. 

A Plea For Modesty

modesty.jpg

Also, the women are to dress themselves in modest clothing, with decency and good sense…   1 Timothy 2:9

In shopping for my daughter’s clothes, I am reminded of how little attention is paid towards modesty anymore. Almost everything is so shorter and revealing. Nothing is left to the imagination. Finding modest clothes is quite a task!

Women have to fight to not be looked at as sex objects but finding clothes that don’t give off that vibe is difficult. I come off as an old prune when I talk hand length and no cleavage to my daughter. I am ok with that though.  I don’t back down though because I know how men think and how they will see my daughter if they are invited to do so by her outfit. If any dad is ok with that then he is not much of a dad.

Here is what every woman needs to realize. Lust is an issue. An issue for both men and women but especially for men. I know this because I am one and I talk to men often about this issue. Temptation faces us at every turn and the struggle is real. Jesus addressed this issue:

“You have heard that it was said to those of old, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’  But I say to you that whoever looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart.  If your right eye causes you to sin, pluck it out and cast it from you; for it is more profitable for you that one of your members perish, than for your whole body to be cast into hell.  And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and cast it from you; for it is more profitable for you that one of your members perish, than for your whole body to be cast into hell.  Matthew 5:27-30

God is adamant that his creation will not be reduced to an object of lust. He takes it seriously enough to tell us to pluck out your eye or cut off our hand if need be to avoid sinning! I rarely meet a man who does not struggle with lust and those who tell me they don’t… I assume they struggle with lying as well. Our struggle is not helped by the short skirts and shorts and the revealing tops. I am not a woman so I enter dangerous territory here but I can only assume this is why women would wear revealing clothes… to be noticed.  Well, unfortunately men are noticing and they are falling into sin for it.

I don’t know if women know this but men are reducing them to their looks when they wear revealing clothes. Men don’t care about their IQ, personality, or spiritual health in the moment. Men’s attention has been moved to her body and she becomes an object of lust for him. There is no respect or genuine care. It is about animal instinct in that moment. Not healthy for the woman or the man. Here is what I believe: What you wear says something about who you are. To think it doesn’t is irrational.

We want to teach our daughter about the importance of modesty as a Christian. We want to teach our daughter that her body is meant only for her husband. It is not to be on display for men to notice. She is not an object but a person worthy of respect and care. She is much more than her body type. We will preach this to our daughter. My wife will model this for her through her modest dress. I will continue to give affection to my daughter (even though she acts awkward when I do) and hope that she will not feel the need to find value from other men because she is receiving it from her daddy.

Now a disclaimer here: there is a big difference in making oneself look attractive versus making oneself look seductive. If you are modest in your dress and yet a man finds you attractive that is on him if he takes it too far with his eyes and thoughts. You shouldn’t degrade your beauty. God made you how you are. That is much different than you giving the man a head start into his imagination by revealing half the puzzle. I think a woman knows the difference if she is honest with herself.

I pray that parents will talk more about modesty with their kids. That dads will teach their sons not to reduce women to objects of lust. That women will model for their daughters how a woman shook dress. I pray Christian women will not buy into the cultural conditioning that sex is the only way to be truly appealing. That they will be courageous and hold each other accountable.

Dressing revealing is not harmless fun. It is tempting and leads others to commit sin. God is definitely not ok with it and neither should we be as His people.

 

A Great Friend Is Priceless


One who has unreliable friends soon comes to ruin,  but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.  Proverbs 18:24

A great friend is priceless. How can you put a value on a relationship that adds so much to your life? That friend you do life with… that friend who you know has your back and you have his or hers. You cannot put a high enough price on that. 

I have been blessed with good friends. Friends I can trust. Friends that are safe. Like all things priceless, these types of friends are rare. To get one you have to be one.

With a good friend of mine leaving our church to go to another opportunity, I am reminded of the value of friendship. I have many, many friends. I only have very few that I can be completely real with. It is those friendships I treasure the most.  Those rare friends help shape me into the person I am.

Are you a good friend? An invaluable friend to someone else? Here are qualities I see in this kind of friend.

  1. They go the extra mile when you need help.
  2. They always make you feel wanted.
  3. They tell you they have your back and mean it.
  4. They don’t project their negativity on you.
  5. They listen to you and don’t just share their own thoughts and passions.
  6. They accept you as you are, faults and all.
  7. They don’t try to one up you.
  8. They find humor in things and make you laugh.
  9. They really do pray for you.
  10. They are safe in that you can trust them with your deepest pains and feelings.

I pray you have at least one of these friends. I pray you are this friend to someone else.

Turn about is Fair Play: Brother Dax Responds

KIA and I have been in a dialogue over the last several months about the faith. I am firmly planted in the faith and he has left the faith. I interviewed him and to keep it fair, he has now interviewed me. While he only gave me three questions I do see them as set up questions for he and his entourage to “catch” me in what they will deem fallacious arguments. Nevertheless, I answered them honestly. I am not using these answers to try and prove my faith. There are times when I will defend and argue the faith. Maybe through discussion from here I will do that. BUT, my answers to his questions were not that. They were my honest reflections.

The Recovering Know It All

The Interviewer Responds…

No… not THAT Christian…

Hi there all you wonderful people. My earlierPOSTon this brother’sBLOGansweringquestions for me a Christian Deconvert went so well and was such a success for civil and polite exchange that we decided it would be nice to do another. This time I will ask the questions and Dax of “The Infected Saint” will do the answering.

I’ve taken it easy on him, as you can see, and only included three questions to his six for me, but I have to admit they are a bit heavy, “Bang for the Buck” if you will.

Here they are, so why not tell me how he did in the comments below.

While you’re at it, if you are a believer in Jesus or a Christian of any stripe, why not take a crack at the questions yourself? I’m open to discussion and exchange…

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